Sunday 20 May in San Gottardo

Last night I came back so late. It was past mid night when I got on the internet trying find out about Concordia university and I got teh idea of having Izzy do french translationa nd music as teh way to open the door into college. Anyway, we did have a good time. I went to teh schol's library and check out teh book Ladies detective agency. It was so great and I enjoy it so much that I finished it in one day. Today I will bring it back to teh library. Then I stay at school the whole day. I arranged with Edward Hashke about family portrait and went out to wait for Elana and CArolina at the parking. WIth the Gala festivities going on for fund raising for teh school performing arts building that need to go on through the night. We finally left the school at seven thirty to go to Villa d'erst on the lake Como. We all took our passport with us to be wure that we can come back in case we can not pass the Italian border. I did try the cocktain in the villa d'erst called cosmopolitan and we walk around the beautiful hotel and I promise myself that I show it to Franklin and Michel and Roseline before they leave.
We took some pictures and went down to Lagio to see the front gate of George Clooney house, Then we go down the narrow road to the crotini Platino with teh full parking lot. We ahve to park by the street and there is no walkway so we have to walk very carefully down the narrow tiny highway to get to teh grotto rstaurant. It was not that great especially teh food but I like teh fish from lake and the salad. CArolina like champagne and I make a note to myself to chill at least two bottles of California champagne beforehand when tehy coem visit us in Brazzaville.We have a nice meal and nice converstion and Isabelle still worry about her future after the graduation. We didscussed about some liberal arts option taht she can do come September but it still not sound right to all of us. And all of a sudden we discovered that both of us had fogotten Dad's birthday almost two days ago on MAy 17. We feel so embarrassed and immediately call him. Dad want to have his BD dinner in August during summer holidays. He did not feel liek doing anything in Africa far from teh family. And , as usual teh one who never forget family occassion like this is our little Valerie.
I need to work on myself to just let go of control and anything about my daughter. I wonder if I can ever do that. Last night , I still find myself calling Isabelle at 2 am in teh morning.While I was on the computer. It is going to be 11 am now may be I can make a call or go to the school to return the book and rent another one. I'd already finish this two books during the trip may be I can check out one more or read the book written by the wife of the new headmaster. And right now I need to check my laundry that I sent down to wash this morning.

Saturday 19 MAy in Agra

This morning I went out to take a walk on teh small hill in front of the hotel. A lot of wild strawberries on teh path and the Lugano lake is very close by. But I don't know the name of the village we can see from the high hill. Actually there are 4 paths around teh hill and I will walk them all because I ahve time now. I saw Charlene and Charlie on teh way and they came over to ahve coffee at teh Pension after the walk. I really liek this area more than Bella Vista because Bella Vista ahs more houses. But teh view is still teh same. Yesterday I wet to San Salvadore on the Feniculaire. ANd this morning I look at the web site for the book Bloomability. I will get this book and the series of Ladies detectiv agency of Alexander McCall Smith.
ay be I can call Isabelle's teacher right now to see if she has a copy of that book. How about having teh book mailed to me here.

In Lugano at San Gottardo

I came to this pension by mistakes. I ask Euay to reserve this for me but to my surprise it is very nice and we decided to have the graduation party here on June 2nd. We went to get the car this morning. I am not too please with teh school but it was not too bad. I think its time I take teh reign about Isabelle's university's application. The teacher feel that what she has so far is the best to go to Richmond. It is not bad but not what she need now. I am glad to discover the Les Airelles and know about the books written by the scottish writer. I will look for it in the internet.
The more I see it I prefer to be in the french part of switzerland. Anyway, soon it will be the graduation and I know that it is going to be nice. I found the book return from Africa in french version at the Geneva airport. I am reading it right now. I will ask Euay about the other book about the flying kite boy. Soon , I will order the meditation class about light body from Orin Daben soon.May be this is a good break for me.

The Monday before the last Monday of April

I need to keep track of how many days this week I practice yoga. I am at the point wher the body came up with millions excusees not to do it. Pararel God I fogot how to spell it. I watch the movie angles in America last night. it was a play . i jot down quite a lot of new words. thsi morning I call my daughter. I feel rather sluggish today. o.K. still need to email a few people. Last night I got mesge from MAnuela and a call from Jessica. O.K. on Saturday ,I did watch teh french movie Fauteuil d'Orchestre . Was a nice movie. The firat time I see ValerieLemercier on screen. This week is really french as we listen to N.Sarkozy speech. We don't know who will be the next french president as they will vote again in two weeks. I will know it before I leave for Leysin. Valerie is more clear than Isabelle about what she want. Does Isabelle need to undergo all teh ceremony to find out what she really want. Actally we can get her to spend one more year to explore her options. She is not really firmon what she wants to do. It is not easy for her to make a choic eright now anyway I hope she get an intern position in Chiang Mai. I think that will be the best bet for her. My husband want her to be in Leysin for one more year. It was quite a big decision. I still await the reply from Mr Sloman. I hope hw knows the SIS people by now.
I am also in suspense about the next location I will be with my husband 's next assignment. I now that we'd finished here. It is just a matter of months before we move from here. I wonder why did I buy so much meat. I won't be able to finish all of it but my husband probably wll.
Well will eep everything on suspense for a while.

After Spring break

O.k. today is Monday the 16 of April. For the last three weeks I was running around like crazy with my two girls Isabelle and Valerie. We went to Point Indienne twice and really have a good time. I still am resening the fact that my husband has never make an effort to learn how to BBQ. Our Weber BBQ is still brand new has never been used. Anyway papa Jean came and make some alteration for me and a new tennis raquet bag for Isabelle and I will ahve one made for her coach at school. Papa Jean also make the white dress for Isabelle graduation. I am glad that this is out of my way and now we just have to look for teh white shoes and ear ring.
The idea came to me to ahve Nichole read my manuscript and she did read ita nd this make me more active again about my book. I really look forward to publish it within this year. And will email to Amanita and Mark today announcing my arrival in Bay Area this June.
Another issue for us is the whereabout of Isabelle next year. It seems like she is not ready for collage but I really need to talk with her more seriously. This summer she will be doing her driving license test and get that out of teh way may be Valerie can also do it.
I am too tired and hungry and reall out of shape. I should not have spent long hours in front of TV and DVD. When will I stop my tendency to go down to lower level frequency. Anyway, I ahve sen Blood diamond, The departed and dream girls already. I saw teh french version. I really like Marie Antoinette and the Dimanche in Kigali. The TOTAL golf competition is finished and Gail came to see Isabelle at home before she leave for Lugano. I am glad she will finish in Lugano and really curious about what she will be doing come Fall 2007.
I wish I could go to Thailand and finish my Yoga teacher training. I hope my husband finish the transfer of swiss francs to Euay within today.

Fist Par on nine hole

O.K. it was exciting. This week is full of soiree s and activities. Monday I have dinner with DAve & Chloe at Twiga. We went there late so we did not see the sunset. I want to help them with looking for new apartment in Pointe Noire. It should not be difficult. A lot of new apartment being built everyday here with a lot of new shops and hotels. The town is growing. Tuesday we ahve this thing with Credit Lyonnais. They changed name into credit congolais. So my husband told me that ,to email Pascal now we have to say Pascal@congolais dot com but Don't believe him. Also libertis phone has changed to MTN and we need to change sim card. How I hate to have the word petrolier or spouse of petrolier stick on my forehead everywhere I go in town. Even teh simple task as to put the memorised list of phone number from teh cell phone into sim card which is a service free of charge. The guy want to charge me 5000 frans for that. Because of me looking too mundele, too petrolire and too american. Well but did not fall for that. Armel the chauffeur said my husband would have paid for it without second thought. Anyway what's next on teh genda this week. Tuesday afternoon ,in spite of the rain, Isabel ,Vicki and me went to golf in teh afternoon. It was so nice not too hot and with gentle breeze from the sea. I got my first par on the 9th whole. Actually it si well worth a champagne. Anyway, I finally got around to return teh golf bag to Bienvenu in teh morning and register for this week Brasco competition. I can do this one before the Total competition next month. Todat , Wednesday ,we have ladies night out as usual but this time we will have it at Vicki's house for the farewell to Arunaa. She is moving to Singapore and for sure ,I know that I will see her again. I plan to bring the Te Te and Halo Halo with coconut ice cream. We only have Thursday free and Friday we have again something for Arunaa which is more formal at the Schumberger house. Them Saturday off course I will have drumming as ussual in the morning and teh exciting golf tournament in teh afternoon. Fro sure I need to go practice tomorow morning at 7 am. I want to call Chloe before she leave to borrow teh video of their wedding with the pygmy to watch. And also to have her contact BErnatuel and many others.I see Manuela on the net now.

I want to do the crazy child write with this computer for a practice. I really love the documentary on Madonna I watch last night. For the first time I feel like recording something from the TV program. Madonna has the right name . I think she is Italian American. Her husband a Scotman may be but she is very an icon. I don’t know how to describe her but now I am interested in going to one of her live concert. It is a genius work and hard work. There are a beautiful poem she wrote about her self that she has the life work as a Madonna the singer. This is her life mission and destiny She has only the song and the scene to awake people. Her work is brilliant her poems are touching and sincere. It come from the core of her being. And that is why it is soo gripping to audience. She withhold nothing. How I feel the pulsating of her soul and clear commucation. I would like to hear that again. It was such a good passionate documentary . I really want to get the DVD of it and give it to my daughter and I want to see it with her. She really learn the singing. I will learn to edit my work and to be with the crazy child. I will progress with the group. With Selene , Clive and all the other. Sharon and Steve. I like to get to know them better. They are sangha. I need the email of Sharon also. The poem of Madonna to her assistant is very touching and she share it with everybody. Secret is meant to be said. Some secret meant to be said. She is really dedicated and devote to her life work and life mission. She go to the core and I feel honoured to access the beauty of what she did offer to the audience. Off course we cannot say that is the best for so much is still can remained junk for some. But I really love it. I am aware that my taste and sensibility as well as my vibration has increase and expanded. I am of higher vibrations. I am off higher vibration and at this frequency , a lot will need to be discard or thrown out of orbit. Can not accommodate mediocrity for example. I am of higher vibration , I am awaked. I am intuned and in touch with a higher vibration and frequency of my being. I see, feel and am aware of another dimension of reality which is lighter, more fun and a lot of space has open up to me. I feel my connection with the 80,000 audiences in the rain like Madonna feel that night in Ireland ( Dublin ) think it must be in the rain in Ireland. She does not with hold anything she give away everything. It is ecstastic what will be the next step for me. I feel the mission and the book going to the core. I vibrate higher than before thing like Ophra or anything I use to like accumulate read and feel that it is interesting has already drop away one by one. There are new model, new arts, new way of being , new awareness and new frequency. This must be higher than what I normally experienced so far. It reach the 80,000 people or the 80 millions. If my book can sales like the one of J K Rowling. I would love that so much. But that is because the work worth it and it is more than life. It help people. It awaken them. Use my writing my soul to awaken people . It must be radical, daring and come from the highest of universe. From the source. As I feel it. It touched me.Iit is passionate. O.K. look at my daughter, how I want her to see this. How it must have been a lot if she need to stumbling on with trial and error. Everybody need to go through that. What does Madonna drink and eat and wear and practice. What is the routine of her everyday life ? I know that it must include so much of yoga , prayers meditation dance practice. So much physical and conceptual. Surrounded by so many creative out of the box ideas of songs ,dances and lyrics. With intense emotional exploration s and experimentation. That must be very interesting. How I wish to be in that kind of world and why not?I saw Al Gore the routine he gone to. In the movie. Movie told us a few thing but thatere is the guy behind the lens of the camera filming that. I can not absorb in that completely knowing the guy who is filming also. The knower and the known. I am very close to grab both of them.

I want to give a small feng shui class to people in Switzerland. I love my children . I did already got something. Did I want to give the cake for Isabelle birthdayin February 2007. May be I can have Isabelle do something at Khun Euay’s house. Will it be o.k. with her. I wonder how she is doing now. I want to call her again. I need to handle the set up of Valerie’s new school coomunication system .The power school that I will monitor very closely every week. They really no none sense there. I can’t wait for the internet to work. What to do next. Will we go to the drumming this week or not. I need to call Jennifer and Stephanie. I have so much to show to the drumming teacher. What do we do in our own beach. The place Malonda lodge is very nice and decent enough. We can really organized so much there. I really like the idea of having the writing group there. May be Vicky and Nielcould come too. How I love being back into the creative swing of thing. I like to have them organize the timing so that I know before hand what’s going on.

I want to also go look at the work of Mme Jamart. Go with Jaqueline to visit Grazialla. It will be great to visit Grazialla and how many people of the higher vibration that I will get to know and see. What will be the next thing to do. I need to call my piano teacher. I want to go on more go further with piano. My children did so much progress. I need to catch up with them also. Drumming and piano. I like the way Jean louis practice with the band. It was great. What else to do. I need to create my healing altar. So much need help and so much has going on with grace. I want to contribute and make a difference. Making a difference in someone life. The work of Madonna is large same as the one of JK Rowling. I am vibrating into that magnitude that vibration. That’s why I can see it appreciate it and can make sense out of it. I can get in touch with the greatness of it and the power of the mind the light of the work that shine bright in the world and pulsating in subtlties. This kind of wizardry seen only by the same frequency . Only the same frequency of vabration will recognized and appreciate. Nevermind the lower frequencies wher I use to be. It was alos precious and fun in its own way. We just only have to remain in our own acquired frequency until we ready for still another higher one with excitement and enthusiasm. This is another dimension of truth and realities that present itself and reveal itself to me as I attain higher frequency. This is another breakthrough. In the right place at the right time. And it is meant to be. I am excite to be in this dimension of a new reality. I am fortunate to the lightness, fun and shimmering sincereity, bliss and joy of it. I want to practice more yoga now. I become more into the body.


O.k the crazy child play time is finish by the sound of the timmer. I want to see how longer of the time I can keep going. May be it will be wise to just go and have lunch.
Set the table for this evening. So much still remain to be organized. Do I need to go for driving range today. I really need to practice yoga that’s for sure. Can I just put away all the stuff of this room. So much still can be given away. I will not go again to the Plateau market for the seafood. What will be the next thing to do? What they want to come to do thing for me. I am not too keen on seeing them here all the time. What was they. Is that the personal, the local people or what did I mean by they who come do thing for me. I can go to the Trentenaire for all of that.


15 Sept. 06

Another half an hour of crazy child writing. Last night we have Emerick, Fulvia and jean Paul over for diner. Jean Paul look very tired and hectic. Today is his last day in Pointe Noire. He ahs been here 4 years. He still as funny as before but I want to talk about Emerick he did do well from the loss he experience and we really don’t know what elase to do for him other than cheer him up and invite him to function from time to time. I just learn from Emerick that Choi is leaving also how about Jum and Pierre. We did not hear from them for so long and I want to go see Pi Pan also. How is she lately. She must be with all this Italian. I am elarning Italian right now. She is from Milano so she is a little bit different. Any way the most interesting is that Fulvia ‘s father. He did fishing and he fish Piranha and they also eat Piranha. We were talking about Kumqwati . All of us has been already but not all. I want really to invite Jacqueline and her husband over for diner. I will ask if it is o.k. with Franklin. Jacqueline and who elase. When is she going to Kenya. Do I need to have visa to go visit Grazialla. My interest is now more on the animal than on other thing. I want to also organize all these interesting sight for those people who are coming. What else do I do. What is the next step. I really would like to have Jacqueline and who else over. How about Grazialla. Do I call her ? This is my next instinct. What happen now to all these people. I need to call also Stephanie. Will we have the drumming tomorrow. I want to review what I haven’t done all summer. Yes the frist thing to do is to call Stephanie and go to see if we are going to have drumming tomorrow or not. Alec is also leaving. Who else is coming to replace him here in our house next door. How about Bastian . Is he back yet. Should I call him. Even Cathy did not answer my call. She might be busy and did not open her cell. I have so much to give the children. Orphanage. Should I do it now today. It is always interesting to go to the fresh market but one can only eat so much. I am more moderat now about buying food. What will be the next thing to do. I thing the cook ahs been taking a few stuff from the kitchen . Or have been eating out of the casserole while he cook. That’s inevitable. What will we have next . O.k. without this them thing can not be prepared and I will have to it all myself which is not what I want anyway. We still have this dry cake .I should have given that to Fulvia and kept the mousse or sabayon of Passion fruit. My friend can not grow passion fruit. I need to get another kinds of packaged grain for her from Switzerland. What to do next .I want to call her also from here. Why don’t I call Amanita and Phra maha Prasaert. Iw ant to send little angel to Phra Mike and ask about the thing of tet mah chat. This is my sunbject of interest. Not having to watch TV Madonna life I can also get something interesting to do and see. What will be the next thing I need to perform. Of course the kids really can go stay at Malonda lodge. Will it be full during the holidays season. We did not have too much problem with the relais de Kouilou last time we went. I want to have some other people to take there. They were not what I want. They want to make pottery and balancoir and many thing more interesting . Jean Paul and who else has completely different idea about it . This morning may be I can go to drive golf or even go to the Diosso to walk a little bit. I did not walk for the whole day. May be I rest enough now and ready to walk long distance. I don’t think it will be too hot this afternoon. It would be nice to just go and see how I do. For the driving range here at elast I did a few time hitting the ball. My husband still not relax enough to go more like me. I like going to the beach and walk around . I like going every morning on Tuesday and Friday. Doing golf is quite nice. I like to just talk a walk along the ebach and admire the nature. Coming home, I am exhausted and ready to take a nap or something. So much I can do and can walk and do exercise. When I go next time to Lugano and other , I will be completely tan again that is so good. What will be the next thing. I ave to get out to walk on the beach and may be I should also do that tomorrow morning. Today afternoon and tomorrow morning. In between this time I will read the parents week end for Benjamin. I will call him to see how he is doing. The best time to call is early in the morning. What to do next I like doing this. Talking about what I ddi yesterday. It wa smy son’s 19 years old day. I really love him and he can atleast feel and sense my love for him. Yesterday we talk sabout the display of affection. And the French are mor etouchy feely about it the most. What about the new word we learn at the table yesterday. It was this thing in English called show off meaning in French frimeur. I thing I spell it correct frimeur or frimeuse . do tahy use this term nowdays. What happen again in this little town so much is need to be back in the swing of thing after going away for so long. What will be the next step. I want to go for the golf. At least now I got to almost ready to be in the tournoi. What do I do next. I can also call Jacqueline now. I will do what Sharon say. Keep going for a little while as this start to flow. I like doing this and I have so many progress these days. What else do I do now. I have to see with Selene about going to her workshop. I really want to organize this writing workshop in point Noire and another one in Kenya if can go first to take a look and I can call Grazialla with out problem. What else do I need to call Jacqueline now and also call Mme Jamart. She is a very nice lady at heart and we really like to talk to her and have Fernando and everybody come over at my house for diner one time. Especially Fernando. He is very nice and interesting. What happen next I don’t know but I like knowing them and their unpretentious style. I think this is the way I make progress. O.k. places I wanted to go before I leave here is Kenya, Senegal and Ghana. How about with Ashana and Andrie. O.K. now the next step is to call Jacqueline and talk about that with her. Ask about the phone number of Garzialla and go from there. I want to have Jacqueline and her husband over next week. I should invite them with whom. And who else do I need to see. Choi and Stephanie and Cathya nd Bastian and some other people I will have good time with. Such as Jennifer the dance instructor and piano teacher the dance teacher, the Italian talking people.


9 Sept.06

I wish I were Fernando, or Selene or any of the poets in our group. If I were the poet , how am I going to introduce Gregoire to people. To me he is the symbol of Africa. My African experience.

Gregoir is a chimpanzee who has been saved, by Jane Goddall, from being slaughtered for meat in the market place in Congo. This thing is still going on right now till today. When chimp were caught by the poacher. The mother will be slaughtered for meat. If the baby come attached with the mother, they usually are too to eat. So the poacher is much better off selling them in the market for pet. We often see the carcass of the mother in the market with the baby next to it to be sold as pet.

But chimp is a wild animal. They can be dangerous, like any wild animal when fully grown and confined in a limited space. Or to be exact, when they loose their freedom.
Wild animal are not dangerous when they have the freedom to roam free in the wild , to hunt, to mate, to explore , to develop on their own in nature. But with advancing desert , natural forest keep getting smaller and smaller. The real wilderness is rare to come by. Did I ever experience the real real wildlife in Africa? I think Gregoir could be just the one to testify that there are no more real wildlife left in Africa. Only wildlife reserves, monitored by international agencies. Most of the monitoring personnel are on volunteered basis. They do it because they love it or want to learn about it not for the pay.

Chimp, like all being on earth, does not do well in a zoo situation. Does any do well in a cage ? To me,this is the spirit of Africa. Nobody do well in a cage. Why do I like it so much? Am I in a cage right now ? The cage of expression. The cage of the language . The cage of the editor. May be my spirit is not completely free. Eventhough, it look like I can do whatever I want to do and can write whatever I want to write but we need words. What kind of words does the English language has . is it enough to explain, convey or come close to the expressive rhythm of these transforming wilderness of Africa.Will the drum set me free ? I am caged and limited. Will the shaking of my liver in the African dance shake all the words of my African experience and liberate me? I think may be the poet can. They are wizard of words. They can use so little words to describe so many wordless concepts. To really share my experience of Africa to realize what it mean to be free. I need to enlist the help of an organic poet. What it mean to be free from cage. Free to survive in the wild.
But notice this, Gregoir is in a cage sitting there like an old grand pa. Greeting eth reserve visitors with blanked eyes. I cannot communicate with him but I feel safe when I see him in the cage. How about if he come out of the cage / Will I still feel as safe. Grazialla, the reserve manager, went into the cage to greet him. They look like long time old friends. The human and the old sage ape. They hold hands and communicate. It was a wordless exchange. Beauty and the beast. Old grand pa in the cage receiving visit from the rest of the clan. If I can only come this far. As far as I know Gregoir is the oldest chimpanzee ,known to man, in the world. His grand pa aura still shine bright in the Jane Goddall chimpanzee reserve in Tchimpunga national park in the republic of Congo. My general view on zoo, wildlife , pet and freedom had changed after my encounter with Gregoir. Grand pa Gregoir epitomized my African experience. What it means to be free. What it means to be caged.

Sea turtles sighting

We have travelled more than 6 hours on a dusty bumpy road from Pointe Noire to Kumqwati. We have cross the strong current of the Numbi rever on a raft pulled by hand to arrive at the basic reserve called H.E.L.P. in French Habitation ecologique et liberte des primate.It is as wild as one can experienced. The day before we packed everything we need to survive on the bare necessities there. Food and drink enough for our three days in the center. Our own moskitoes nets and pillow and pillow cases and blankets as well as water to brush teeth with and our own toilet paper if we need to use them. There will be roof over our head and the basic bungalow with raised floor so that we are safe from crawling insect on the ground. The bathroom is a basic hut with wood door enough place to stand with a bucket of river water and a little basin made form empty formula can to scoop water from the bucket and shower over ourselves