1 Dec

It is almost 8 am and I am sitting in my living room in the gardenhome house in Bangkok. I was lucky yesterday I got the cleaning lady that look great and work well plus she is not live in. She can cook but not that great (she said) anyway anything is better than the one I have last time. She is cooking something for me today. I will see with Kluay what she want to do. I just got in contact with Khun Pim and talk to her about my house blessing ceremony. This is so great and I really would like my friend from Chiang Mai to come too. How about I call Deb from Chiang Mai. I am rather confused with all this thing about my family. How about calling Kluay right now and get thing straighten up. Today Ajan Suchart will come to see Khun Pim and I want to get the place ready for leang Phra. May be I could call the family right now to know when they can come. I can also call Tung. May be it is better to do now as I will invite her also. What else ,I need to call Pi Kowit and Pi Yai and all the others. Who else I want to call. I really would like to have the piano in this house. Will see about that later. It is so funny that I have the DHL sent to me today. I don’t have the caller ID but last night I got to talk with Sinead. My maid is making vegetarian soup for me right now. What else do I want to do. Did my sister call me ? Today , I only wanted to do very minimum. Who lease I wanted to see P Kowit /Jan and Rosie and all the others. What does Pi Kowit doing right now. He still teach at Kasetsart. The maid is o.k. I think this time I will buy the ironing board the good one so that ironing can be somehwhere else or can fold the board away. Nice to be talking to Khun Pim. At least
I talk correctly now. I got DHL today and what else do I need to do with the box. I can send the file to Amanita later. What do I need right now. I will go see Khun Pim on Monday and they are going to be something different. I can go to the temple not far from our house. May be should call Kluay now first before she come out of the house. I am too late now she is almost at my house. I am thinking of my chocolate. I want to bring one box to Khun Pim’s house. I am blessed by being surrounded by all the good friends. What do I do later. I can call to Khun Pim and Khun Somboon. When will they pick up the phone. I am looking forward to seeing Sinead next Wednesday. What else do I do. This year Khun Pim will be going to Bay area also. I will go with her. I am now very simple and don’t want to be disturb too easily by all the elements. So what do the people do for my garden ,I need to cure the disease first. I want to do the tum boon baan and get people to help bless the house I should do that often. But the most important is to have monk coming to bless the house. My sister is already there. May be I can turn of the air condition. It is very loud. I don’t know why and how it could be this loud. Having S&P catering for me should be great. That is what I need to do. Off course when Kluay came I cannot continue with my journal writing. I accomplished so much today. Got to talk with Khun Pim, Franklin and got to check the voice mail as well as deleted what I don’t want. What else do I need to do also. Got to have the think for orchid and the tree outside, the frangipagna. Anyway, today I need to finish with the book and send the draft to Amanita. I chat with Kluay today about Pi Pao. She is very nice but I can not understand the way P’Aew cannot let go of so many stuff. Why do I ave to be so irritated. She can not throw away anything and her house is full of junk. She is torn between the situation that her neighbour is going to build 8 stories condo. It will be so chaos for her but as she is so attached to the old and afraid of change and can nor let go she said the opposite. She said she give away so many thing already but my sister said she still ahs so much stuffs in her house. It is so interesting to chat with Kluay to know about how she feel uncomfortable with P’Aew ways of saying sarcastic remark. It deeply satisfy her may be without knowing. Letting go is difficult for her and she will never leave the house that she built with her husband who’d already left her. Actually her life terribly need updated. But she refuse to go on. My sister told me that she still keep the air conditioning unit in her study even the out side compressor is gone. Contrary to my youngest sister she throw big stuff away everyday. I love to write and I have been working hard raising my family. I am looking at the Asian game opening ceremony. It really time for Asia and I really want to go on with the flow. As my sister She is relived and satisfy after saying something sarcastic to some on . This is very subtle and she might not know it but it reflect what going on in the inside is the same as what’s going on in the outside. The inside is a chaos and not letting go. Her house is full of stuff and old memory that she keep not because she love the object but because she can not let them go. So it mean she still hanging on to the past to the old thing. Not letting go of the old mean no opportunity for welcoming the new. What do I do to help her and what effect this made on me. I think may be Pa Jan is the same. She also like not to change and want to be at the same place. She can not move. But she has more advantage because she live a little bit far from the building site. Pi Aew nees to work on herself. I am happy and can notice this unhealthy habit and hoarding tendency. T want to continue to grow meaning I need to work more on myself what else do I do. I am glad I let go and expand. I want to try new thing ,go to new placeand do new things . meet new people. If we stand still we will shrink. Now I can understand why I was so bored to be with P ‘Aew. But she was nice and her life was colourful up till she retired. Why do I need to think of her so much myself. How about continue to work on myself. Tomorrow, I will still go dance and play golf and continue and have no fear and no imagination about this or that. Glad to do this today and I still need to do thing with childlike freshness. May be because I have young children and three of them I need to carry on and keep up with the time. Glad to have this realization.

27 Nov

This is almost the end of my time in Europe. I went to Lugano, Geneva /Leysin and Aigle as well as Brussels and Paris. Last night, I talked so long with Stephanie in Avaranche and I feel sad about er situation. Her husband has cancer in the throat and she is very worry. She live on the threshold of hope and they already gone many time to Lourdes and they have already baptized. I am glad to talke to her for a long time and would like to cheer her up a little. I went to look at the hotel in town today and found some good ones on the rue de l’ ancienne comedie. I also has something at home for the napkin of my children. It will be great if all of them could use the clothe napkin with napkin ring in their name. I saw the food that all the children will like for sure and I will go visit Stephanie next time. Go to St Malo and visit the north region of France. I can even go with Valerie when we have a short holidays again. This time we saw Bob and I can’t imagine what to do I want to pray for him and for Monique. I hear some news about Anne Rans. She has a new boy friend for a year now and they live now in Anvers. I did not see Caroline yet but would like to buy a thai costume for the kids. Elise, Ana and Josephine. The girl of Florence. I will buy some ongle for all of them also. They will all like it for sure. Althought I am not sure for an 8 years old girl how it will look like. I feel more interesting to walk in Paris and we can stay in one of the hotel. Now I will pack and check out and will go back to the terminal. Now I know how to get to Novotel and how to go into Paris. I’d rather right away from Roissy CDG take the bus to station and take the RER to Notre dame and get a place in town so that I could go out in the evening. The kids will also like it more too. There are 20 something cinemas. And the restaurant in the area are so good. We go to Brussels all the time, I would like to change to Paris next time. Also we can get to see The Garigue also in the area. Being in Paris one will not be too tired. Thee is always things to do. I can invite the mother of Donald also.
SO there are so much to do in Paris. What will I do now in Thailand. And what to do about the house I Walnut Creek. There are not any offer. I wan to go to Korat and go to Lak Muang oracle again. I want to ask divinity what will become of my book and my imcome property as well as my husband’s next move. I am so tired now and look forward to a rest and an alone time in Bangkok just stay for a few days without any contact from outside. What happen now with my family. I want to go for vacation down south and in Chiang Mai. I go toChiang Mai with my youngest daughter twice already. What will I do next. Burma and India and Shanghai. I really want to go with my husband experience Tibet and many other places. Tours are cheap in Thailand. O.K. There are so much in out look that I need to again input so not to forget about picking up the kids from the air port and how about Franklin, He did not want to travel to Thailand to stay for a short time. Will he see the family? I think Ben can work in Leysin this summer for camp counselor. It will be cool for him and we can stay in Europe for a little bit but what about all the other kids they want to go back to do the driving test. Isabelle will be able to do it automatically as she will be already 18 years old in February 2007. But she will go to Africa for community service first. It was so great to see the movie and the news last night. There things that touch people at different time.
O.k. Valerie would like to go in a different school next year. What will we do next ? I want to got o the air port so in the lounge I can read Paris match the latest issue. It was great to go see Henri and talked to Stephanie for a long time last night. And I bought something for sea food scraping ,I hope it can be taken with me to Thailand.Hope they will not freak out at airport and have me check it down the suitcase place. I need another lock for the small suitcase too.

22 Nov.06

Afternoon in the Classic hotel in Leysin. I really need to go again to school to send email to Cathy Sira and Judy Mchuge. I am not so sure if she got a place for her son already but I really can not let her rent my house. What will happen to us next I really don’t know but my husband was so adamant to sell the Picnic land. It was in the market but no body put in an offer yet. I still want it to be rented and I want to come up with the 200,000 dollars to safe it from being sold. I am not too sure why I still want to keep it but I really need to refinance it a little bit now also. What did Simon Lowe doing for Thanksgiving. I am so glad to see Ashley gain during lunch today. I am still in need of coffee and drinking water. Where can I go again for internet if not at the school. My husband can not call from the place in Angola. What to do next ? If the kids go to university close by they can definitely use the place in Walnut Creek. I don’t want to sell my income property. What else do I do right now. I did not see Khun Amara last time I saw her. She must have done so much with her income properties already. She bought a lot in Walnut Creek on Olympic Boulvard. How about my husband. He only think about what? I need to contact also Joanna Truelsona nd many of my other friends from Orinda. There are so many people to contact and maintain contacts. Today it snow and it look so nice. What to do next with Judy Mchugh. I am not too keen to contact her because she always charge me. But may be she can have her son rent my place. This computer is so great and I will have my daughter put in the songs about Ma Mamia and the angle CD from Carole as well as many other thing. I want to start making powerpoint presentations about feng shui and the graphics and the pictures. I am so glad I did the feng shui work shop here this time. It is really beyond my expectation and I really thanks all the elements and devas here for helping me. O.K. I did not do so much for the web site but got quite a good lead from there. I want to continue to do it with Luann because I need to centralize it with Denise and the IA website.What and where else I need to do again. There are only 50 something of us that were trained by Denise and I am really pleased to have been trained by her. But I also have my own style and approach and I like to be also trained by Selene and Clive also. This is great, I find out exactly what I want and how to be and what to do. I still not too keen about going to France in May. But this is the date that approaching. I will go with Clive in Scotland because I have never been there and I am glad to go. While I will be in California. Iw ill see what to do next. In my home in Bangkok , I will have so much to do and all my kids will there again. I reallyw ant to go to either Chiang Mai or the south with them. I still have sometimes before they come. It’s may be time that I should go to mail the post card for Benjamin and the book to be mailed to U.K. for Franklin. I prefer to do this so that it is out of my way. Then I can start to pack. Tomorrow I will be on my way back to Brussles again. I like it so much to be back there again. When did I go there last before doing stuff for my husband and children. Anyway , Benjamin is now more and more independent. I will only see him during the breaks. What breaks he will get twice a year or what? Is he going to Africa again soon. I have different perspective of California now. Now that I am more or less global trotter. I know Switzerland and Thailand as well as Lugano. Actually I really like Lugano for retirement. It is an ideal place or Thailand. More and more I don’t like California actually I am not too serious about U.S.A. at all would that be the best place for me. I don’t know. Each time I go back there , I feel always not belong. Was it just California or was it because of the retirement community in Danville. I prefer to move to either Walnut Creek or go right into San Francisco. I want to have an apartment not a house. Also I want to go see Michel Courtin and Jaqueline also. This time I really need to see Dominique and find out how she is. I want to go to Lanse with her. When Benjamin go to work in Switzerland may be Louis can come and live in his room. What will be something he can explore in California. O.K. my life in Africa is very interesting and I really love my work here in Aigle and Laysin. My synchro alignment I did for all my students last night was so wonderful. And they really got out of it the way it suppose to be. It is rather very powerful and my friend her Stephanie is so sweet. She did all organizing for me and I feel that I need to do more stuff the next time I come. They benefit from it so immediately.Me too, I remember how we move rightaway and we finished with the Danville house. Do I finished yet with the house in Pointe Noire. I hope I can finish at least one workshop first about how to take care of the back. What to do with the place in Picnic. I prefer to keep it for some more years. What to do with it now. Just continue to rent it. What is Mitra doing. I don’t have a contact with her any more. It is strange that she disappear completely and Deang have to break away from Huck and who else. Does she come back to her hosue in Chiang Mai already. We are very close to monk these days. We are older and I want to organize someway of Tum Boon. Can I do it again for mother. I really believe in it. Did Tang go to India for that. What do I do now.I want to have enough money to do whatever I wanted to do. And I know that now I have more or less enough to retire. What is the thing my husband worry about to apy for my daughter’s university. My brother and sister in law actually got themselves finished from there four kids now. They all have jobs and works. What do they doing. I want all the family to come for my house warming aprty. What do the kids of Pi Amorn doing. He only ahev two left with him the two little ones went to live in Australia. My husband is still different from my culture. How about the difference between the Masai and the swiss girl who went back to marry him and have children with him. A lot of thing was up side down when I go back to California last time what happen now with Silp and Jeff. I hope everything get better. I really would like to go live in the city. Last time I chat with Nui,it was a good idea. Did every one finish now with Nui. Did she stay in one place now. I am not going to be contacting Dini again. But I will let her know that I will be in Lugano and Nui can come to Isabelle’s graduation at end of May. In two days Franklin will be back in Pointe Noire. The Picnic lane is still there and the tenant will be leaving soon. I might be able to do something there for the place make it better somehow. I can stay there, I think, my husband can not stay because c’est trop jeune may be. He doesn’t like that place. I want to go get a place in the city. Life has changed a lot and the children now they are not too keen about Crow Canyon any more. I think the only person who attached to Danville is Franklin and he would like to keep it for fear of tax.I need to end now. Thinking of Clive and Selene and will participate more fully with them next time I go to California. May be I will ask if Sharon will be there we can definitely move to Pacific grove like them. And explore the coast.

21 Nov

in Leysin on 21 Nov. I work on the preparation the whole day today. I have fun with the Atelier yesterday and today I will share again my knowledge of Feng Shui. O.K. I discover and have an idea for another thing I can do in Ponte Noire. I will call Pascale Lays and do a workshop on back ache. Call it Atelier de dos for Plane riders. This will be so much fun because we will do things for people with back problem. We will say who need to come. All people with back problem. We can help motivate each other to take into account the 15 minutes exercise each day and finish the mal de dos. And this is selon method Belge. So my husband will approve as well as Pascale and all the others. The first people to do it should be The Lays the Servais and the Delmeire. All of us has this problem before. If I don’t call it yoga it will be great. I can’t believe it that I have all this before and I need to go get something to eat at the thai restaurant today. I will do this at my house or at the Total place. Now I am so inspired. I will call Dominique when I go to Belgium. She can take me to see this girl in Lanse. Also Valera will go get a jacket. It is so cold here and today I will send a carte postal to Benjamin.

Bella Vista /Lugano

This is a lot better. I am sitting in the room in Bella Vista trying to figure out what to do next after breakfast. I did talked with people in the dining room this morning. The breakfast room is full of parents coming for Parents week end. I have been talking with a few people here. The most important goal for this visit is to meet the college counseling guy. Last night I watch the Shakespears play and saw Edward. He is really a young gentle man now. His brother Richie is also in the play as well. Victoria the youngest in the family is now in Tasis also. This is a good school but parents still need to push the student. Isabelle is still too shy and timid to do things. Anyway, did I not come last year. I always come for parents week end. But sometimes not for the end of the year. But this year we will have the graduation and I’d already book the room. How about the people who want to come too. Like Michel Baumal the god parents and all. We will see what they want to do. And other people that I invite. Will Sarah come too. What to wear and what to do for the girls. I am sure Isabelle want to get some nice dress. We did not see what they do it last year. But it looks like it such a grand thing and how grand it can be. There is the cocktail for parents. The maid is cleaning the bathroom. I think I will go out to town for some shopping for multi vitamins and body oil for massage. The thai lady who I will stay with for two days after this is still busy today. She need to do some catering and she has so much to prepare. I don’t know what ‘s going on with her and husband but we all know that things are not as rosy as it seem to be. I don’t know about the Unites States in general but I am not keen on staying there really. My children might be used to it but it is not that great for me. I don’t like the schools there. Don’t like how narrow minded they are and the regulations. I am thinking of my husband right now. I will not see him again until next year. This is so long. I should be walking over to downtown for the vitamins and this morning. Again I have cramp last night. I did take some fish oil and chocolate. I need to try the chocolate again. I will buy some chocolate powder and lock them. The guy in Pointe Noire, the cook can not steal the chocolate powder and the rice any more. Now I lock it. Only take me 3 years to know that I need to lock everything. I did not lock the milk. But my husband should know that I still have a lot of the soya milk left as well as the normal milk. The people in the house are lost when Madame is gone. The people in the school are there already. I think. I will see Isabelle again at lunch time. I will go to lunch with her may be. This is good in a way I have the electronic journal. I want to go to yoga some where in Italy. It is not that appropriate. I like to learn Chinese from the friend of Isabelle. What is the next thing. I met Celeste last night the girl whom Izzy went to Easter vacation with. They can get the plane ticket right now and if they don’t come they can cancel later. What ‘s going on inside of me right this moment. That is the most important that I need to account for. Why am I so tired on one side the left eye. The left side of the body get cramp and tire easily. So what I want to take into consideration is the food , exercise and all the attitude. Writing this way is different from using the pencil and paper but I’d better get use to it. This is the question. What need to be healed before my book can be published.I know that there is this answer and compelling answer in me to finish the book or to re do it again. I don’t like to stop in the middle when Amanita already almost finished everything. There is this deadline that she always help people with deadline before. But I don’t have deadline so she drag on forever. Was it her or any one else. Can I call Melanie Lowedowski about that or should I call Nancy Santopietro. I should call Nancy and do the distance healing with her . Or I will go to New York again. Yes what ‘s the big deal. I want to finish with her stuff and I will also go do things with Neshi this year too. My husband and I both have different view about stuff. How about put on calendar also of what to do. To talk to some one that’s what’s I am big about. Being a therapist that’s it is all about. Doing this modalities. I can do this in the studio of Toylin also. She did all this thing about yoga. I also like yoga. I can do all this feng shui workshop in the yoga shop. There are definitely no limit to what I can do just need to know what and where to do it. Even in the beginning I took it for granted. But I have so much to offer and I can definitely do a lot of thing. Yes I will call or seek consult to Nancy. Want to know what exactly stand in my way of the book off course I can breath it out also. It was so powerful what I breath out of me already with Ashana.
As I write about this the thai teacher of Isabelle called and suggest that I go see the monk. I inclined to bring Izzy with me to see the monk on Sunday. That would be great. I can also bring the friend of Izzy. Will she be o.k. with that. There are mainly the old people. I am o.k with all that and open to everything. The story of other people is sometimes come at the right time for me. How nice to get to both Thai and English at the same time. May be this is the way to do thing. She is very busy each day. She has 2 children. My friend are there. O.K. just would like to see how good is her reading comprehension. She will be able to use it for sure and if she go to Africa . She should be studying it till the last book. The thai book that she has I want to see and go through it more as she finished grade 2 already. How about arrange for her to study piano with Mr. Fish. Will I be exactly writing in thai ever. I still feel that it is good for Izzy to learn thai and it is good that she is interested in it.